Oh dear, what to do with jealousy.

"I'm jealous of my sister.  She is younger, prettier, more popular and now she is definitely more successful as well.  I spent a few days with family and it was as if I suddely saw... all my life I've felt worth-less... less than her.  She has never been in debt. She is able to retire any time, with an income from property. She has 4 children and grandchildren who adore her and a well off partner.  She is a great cook, slim and very very likeable.
I feel, yes, worth-less is what comes to mind. Perhaps I was more academic, passed exams and got to University, which she did not. I was the brainy one. I spent years "helping " people, without really being fulfilled. Now, I look at her life, and although I'm glad all has eventually gone so well for her (she did have a very unhappy first marriage whilst I stayed single till I was 50 and even now, perhaps I'd be happier being single...  but that is not the issue right now.)  I'm shocked to see just how much I have felt less confident, less capable, less of a peron than she is. I was the oldest child and very caught up in my parents' quarrellsome relationship.
She on the other hand bonded closely with the other 2 siblings in the first 4 of the 8 of us.
Complex dynamics.  What do I do about it?"

Well I could look into family karma.  I could take seriously the fact that I was the pioneer, just by virtue of being the first child.  I could work on forgiveness of all her qualities that I haven't got.  It is funny how more than anything, it is her good looks that make me most rawly jealous.  What do you do if you are plain to average at best whilst your younger sister attracts admiration and affection wherever she goes?

HS speaks: 

Yes, your family history is part of  your baggage, that is why L is the first letter of love... it reminds us that Letting Go is a big first step...

Allow yourself to feel the anger and resentment and accept it is how you feel right now. Don't beat yourself up for having those feelings. Now that you see this, don't reinforce the feelings with a story to justify them. The reality is, most women just are quite ordinary. Do you think she will have escaped the resentment from other women, not her sisters?   What if her life has been dogged by feeling that resentful energy for something she cannot help, any more than you could help being average?   And you know you didn't truly want children, or the kind of business she has... and how would you, being quite a self centred but sensitive and empathic person  (I say this with utmost love)  have coped with all the demands that she has experienced? The point I'm making is that she has her path in life, and you have yours.  You focus on the good bits of hers, that  you covet, the attention, the social ease, the glory... but you play down her first marriage, and her second marriage, and how she came through a massive challenge in her children's lives.  You play down the strains she has experienced on her path, and overlook how smooth a lot of your path has been!

Please allow your thinking and feeling to change and do not stay stuck in this childhood pattern.  Make the decision to "put away childish things" and focus on what you have to be grateful for. It is a question of choosing love, with this breath, and the next one... and the next and letting go of everything that is not love.  Just being willing gently let all that go and allow your mind to heal of this painful wound. Do not worry,  I will do the rest.