Heal Your Mind Time

Eating Disorders

2011-05-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

There is a huge increase in weight problems and obesity especially amongst Americans. It is very striking to a visitor. It is obvious that many people are eating not because they need to, for physical nourishment. The eat for other reasons, well beyond the point of "enough."

Some people have lost that the awareness of that point and no longer get the message that they have eaten enough.The issue does not just affect middleaged people. Many young people especially girls are obsessed with food and they are enduring a quiet and sometimes secret battle with eating disorders.

Anorexia is quite well known. But just to clarify, what does it mean? The word comes from Greek originally and means lack of desire to eat. Actually the person has developed a complicated relationship with food and has developed a fear of it. It is not a coincidence that it is on the increase among young women and even girls as young as 12.

It is being reported currently that a young Scottish woman, who was the youngest person to have a stomach bypass operation in 2008, is now suffering from anorexia and has been told she has just 6 months to live. A clinical psychologist has commented that there were probably underlying health issues which the "gastric band" did not address. Her story is a particularly sad one and rather extreme,but it shows how eating disorders, whether of bulimia, compulsive eating or anorexia, need to be taken seriously.

They look different but the underlying issues are to do with self image and self esteem. It is pointless to label a compulsive eater "greedy" and expect them to use simple will power to curb their eating. At a low level this might be effective, but not when the person has put on more than 2 stones or their health is affected.

It is hard to understand how a person with anorexia can look in the mirror, and see themselves as "fat" when everyone else sees them as skinny but this is a sign of the cognitive problems associated with the condition. But this the case and it is one of the most serious signs of anorexia.

Bulimia is another condition which is kept secret as much as possible. The person eats normally, or to excess, but then induces vomiting so the amount of real nutrition they receive is nothing like the amount they require. They try not to let others know what is happening and will deny it, which is true of all three eating disorders.

There is a lot of shame and self hatred involved and this mental suffering is tied up with the condition like the proverbial chicken and egg. People eat to suppress uncomfortable feelings, feel ashamed and eat some more. In anorexia, the person has a sense of power when they refuse to eat, and this power is worth more to them than proper nutrition. In some cases the person would rather die than eat.

If you, or someone you know, is affected by any of these eating disorders, you would be wise to seek help as soon as possible. You need skilled, professional help.
I know of an excellent centre in Vienna, VA Tel(888) 885-2192 They have a proven program which deals with the reasons for the disorder, and treat the person holistically.

If you are looking for help elsewhere please fill in the contact form.

2009-07-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

In the midst of a busy day, it is not easy to slow down. But often, just a few moments of listening to the stillness will change the whole day. That colleague who is under pressure, a moment of stillness reminds you to respond from your heart. It allows you to know that the other person's life is as important to them, as yours is to you.

The stillness speaks, without words, calling you back into your heart. Then you have space for your own tumultuous feelings, without being overwhelmed. Then you are able also to allow the tumultuousness of the other, without needing to fix it, run away from it, or pretend that it is not there.

After a moment of stillness, you might feel inclined to say something, but it will come from a deeper place in your heart. The words might be the same, but they will have a power, a beauty and a rightness that your busier mind would not express. There might still be no words, just a gesture, a touch, a hug.

But because you took the time to check for a moment into the Well of Being, the true water of life can flow through you, refreshing both you and the other person. You are both more connected with the Source of all that is. Peace, calm, ease all follow as day follows night.

What about Death?

2009-06-27T02:59:00.000-07:00

How to be, how to respond, when you feel a huge loss?The day after Michael Jackson died, I was listening to LBC radio, "London's Biggest Conversation." The presenter of the mid morning show, James O'Brien, said that he had decided to suspend all cynicism for one day. He invited his callers to share their memories and reflections about the life and music of Michael Jackson.

He commented that it was a time to contemplate the life and passing of Michael. (Perhaps it is no coincidence that Mr O'Brien was educated at Ampleforth College, the "Catholic Eton.")

The show that followed was one of the most powerful experiences I ever had in listening to the radio.

It was wonderful to experience what happens when permission if given to experience deep emotion other than anger, which is so common in society. Such a rare reminder that the human, vulnerable aspects of ourselves matter and should not be banished to the edges as we create systems more suited to robots.

A young solicitor rang in from her desk.. She said Michael's death had made her think about love, which she said was not a popular concept to talk about. People's hearts were really open! Thanks also to the gentleman who said that on his carp fishing website, which has a very "blokey" forum, all the comments were heartfelt and appreciative.

Death reminds me that indeed I and those I love will not be here for ever, but for some time now I have not felt that that is a tragedy. Sad, yes. Painful, yes. But it is a fact of life, that one day the journey here will be complete and I will move on, and those I love will move on.
The tragedy is more in not fully living, before death.

This is a truth that can help me live more fully, more deeply today, sharing love as best I can. Thank you to James O'Brien, and thank you to Michael Jackson who has been a fabulous gift to the world. How wonderful, if cynicism could be suspended for more than just a day.....perhaps we need a little cynicism (caution or scepticism might be better words) to survive in the external world. Beware of cynicism, it can rob us of the greatest treasure in life-our Real Self.

Listen to your Soul

2009-06-13T03:14:00.000-07:00

If you are doing work which goes against the grain of who you really are, you need to take the time to listen to your Soul. It is not a fashionable word, and that reflects a reality of society today. What really matters in life? Is it how much you earn, or who you know, or whether you have a special gift or talent that makes you a celebrity?

None of that matters, really. Your soul does not care for any of that. It cares for your essence, the very core of you. Your passion, your authentic will, the expression of Life that you are. Stuart Wilde wrote a wonderful book called "The Whispering Winds of Change" in which he describes the world of Tick Tock Time, the world of clocks, schedules, routines- cold hard facts. What might be called the masculine world. Here there is not much room for dreaming, vision, creativity, poetry, beauty. The world is a mundane place where you earn your crust.

But that is not the world of the soul, which is longing to be expressed and which is the deep value in life. Soul is precious, invincible, tender yet tough. Soul is powerful, not as a big ego that impresses people, but as an energy of life and of being. Soul is when you say: "I AM" and that is not something anyone else has control over, even if they kill my body...I AM.

Here is a short film from Simple Truths that will help you engage with the dreams of your soul. Click Here

Listen to the "I AM" within you today. Refuse to allow the Tick Tock world to rob you of the joy that is your birthright. The more you express the deep joy within you, the more your Soul adding to the world. This is healing your mind, and also the mind of the whole of Humanity.

We need to start honouring The Soul again. The way to begin is to slow down, allow the mind to become calm. Listen. What does your soul ask of you today? How does it want to express itself?
Live authentically and joy must follow.

Healing Art

2009-05-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

Living in the middle of a metropolis, sometimes I have to look very carefully to see something beautiful in my surroundings.
Human beings do hunger for beauty and it is no coincidence that crime rates are higher in areas where the surroundings are graceless and grim.
So for the individual who is ill or stressed, to have some extra beauty to enjoy must have a healing effect. This video shows the extraordinary paintings by Andreas Moritz.

An Interview With God

2009-04-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

One day, when I look back on my life, am I going to be happy with how I lived?
What if that day was today?

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Universal Energy

2009-03-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

I love the fact that although some truth is Universal, the truth that really makes a difference is the truth that speaks to my heart. There are so many religions, so many paths, even modern spiritual paths- how to "judge" between them?

In my journey, I am accompanied by many wonderful people, often through the books that they have written. There are a few that I regard as spiritual mentors. But aside from the inspiration of their words, the basic practice is always some kind of meditation. For me, that means getting beyond the small me, the ego who wants just to be comfortable.

But until now, I never understood why I was at times drawn to the quiet, introverted writers, and at others to the very active, "change the world" authors.
Just recently I have begun to understand that it is because at different times, I need to grow and to have some particular facet of spirituality emphasized.

I am moving forward, towards wholeness, whether I am comforted by A Course in Miracles, or challenged by Antony Robbins. There is no fundamental conflict.

Alzheimer's- another perspective.

2009-03-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

I just watched Kevin Whateley (Lewis) on ITV talking about Alzheimer's disease. One man spoke about the difference the drug Aricept made to his life, basically it restored his memory and has extended his years of "normality." Sadly the cost means that it is no longer available on the NHS for new sufferers.
I don't think that drugs are the answer to everything, but if a drug offers a clear benefit, which as his wife pointed out, is not just for him but for at least 27 people, his brothers, sisters, children and grandchildren, is it not well worth the few pounds each day?
But also, what of those who are not helped by drugs. John Suchet had a nurse to assist him in coming to terms with the gradual loss of the wife he knew. Many people do not have anyone to talk to about the enormous changes that are happening. Someone to confide in, some help with managing stress and enjoying short times of relaxation, seem quite crucial.
I felt, with my father, that although he was lost to me in a way, in another way he was on his own journey and now, after his death, that journey is continuing. Perhaps in a much better way than if he had not gone through the experience of dementia.

Blessing for a grey day...?

2009-02-22T04:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it really helps to remember how short, fragile and amazing life is.

Beannacht

("Blessing")

On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colours,
indigo, red, green,
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays
in the currach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

~ John O'Donohue ~

(Echoes of Memory)

What price connection?

2009-02-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

This morning I stopped to buy a coffee at a local train station. As it had not been open all that often lately, I asked the lady why. She said that "the Railway" was going to knock down her premises to build barriers. Just another bit of efficiency, and little lessening of quality of life.

Do the Railways, "they" not realize what a cold world they are helping to create? A world where nothing matters but the kind of efficiency that squeezes the last possible penny out of people regardless of human needs.

And of course the same thing is happening in social work, teaching, policing....human contact pared to the bone, processes to eliminate the "slack"...but at what cost? There may be short term gains, but what about the true, long term costs to our well being, our mental and spiritual health?

Could there be a link with the rise in stress related illness, in crime and alienation amongst teenagers, in so much of the "uncivil" society we endure these days?
We have fallen under some kind of enchantment that sees surveillance, efficiency and rationality as a new Trinity.....but heaven help us if they replace faith, hope and love......!

The Blessing of the Missing Meeting

2009-02-17T13:17:00.000-08:00

Today I was going to various meetings and appointments by bus. This involved waiting, changing, map reading....various challenges for a woman with the merest modicum of spatial awareness. The number of times I set off "just knowing" I was going in the right direction only to find, after ten minutes, that I was quite wrong would be embarrassing to admit. The whole thing could have been a great pressure.
Today, though one of the meetings I had planned just did not happen. That left an hour of extra time. A breathing space. The result....very little stress on my part. I could even regard the waiting as a chance to meditate, as inconspicuously as possible. I think I might budget in an "invisible meeting" most days. Just to help me stay sane.

Too much of a good thing.

2009-02-15T07:40:00.000-08:00

RecentlyI started watching the News again. I stopped, almost completely, years ago. But I started watching the 10pm News every night. I am so glad I realized that it was not helping, me or anyone else! I have to go to bed at a reasonable hour, so what is the point of filling my mind with the world's woes just before I really need to relax? So I started to watch the 7pm news instead, so there is time to destress afterwards. Time to breathe in and out slowly, letting a cleansing, healing peace flow through my being.

On the edge.

2008-07-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

I feel myself growing calmer as I look at this.
Not a ripple on the water.
Sunlight dappling the coat of this young deer....
A moment of stillness.

De-stressing and Debt

2008-04-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

In the first chapter of “Wink” the book by Roger Hamilton, the boy narrator of the story mentions that his father is ill and stressed after years of working very hard and still having worries about money.This is a big spur to the boy to learn a better way to wealth.This is a big issue all around the world, how to heal the mind around money.
With so much stress around the property market and the credit crunch, it is not surprising that many people are feeling so pressurized.
Self esteem can be affected as you may judge yourself as a worthless or inadequate person and not remember all the positive qualities you have. Any lurking vulnerability or insecurity will come to the surface, and the chip on your shoulder could start to feel like a plank.
If you feel alone with the problem, either because you are hiding it from others or because you don’t have anyone to share it with, it could really eat away the foundations of your well-being. The most important time to do active de-stressing is exactly at this kind of time.
Find someone to talk to-friend, family or a help line such as The Samaritans. 08457 909090 They also offer an email service.
This is a helpful site in addressing the practicalities of debt-help
Or you could buy an ebook to download right away. If you have a monthly income, this ebook offers a strategy to whittle down your debts in the shortest possible time. It is designed for the US market but the principles apply more generally.

3 More De-Stressing Tips

2008-04-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

Ask yourself, what am I frightened or anxious about? What am I telling myself I “should” and “should not” do? What emotions am I pushing down?

We rob ourselves of a lot of energy when our minds become like slave drivers telling us we are not good enough, fast enough, clever enough and so on. Resolve to let those beliefs go. The work of Louise Hay is wonderful in helping this process.

If you have a lot of things to do chasing around in your mind, then making a list and creating priorities will be a great help. Women are renowned for their multi tasking abilities, but really to devote energy to one task at a time and gentler on yourself and more effective. Get in the habit of making lists and even scheduling the time to do things. This will have a de-stressing effect on your mind as you know that things are handled. Remember to leave time to respond to the odd emergency. And schedule your Heal Your Mind Time.

Think about your physical self care. Are you actually getting enough exercise? Just having the gym membership is not enough! Nor is a whole burst of activity on one day followed by none for several weeks. Regular walks, dancing, the trampoline, yoga, active sport….be real with your self and ask what really fits in your life.

De-Stressing Today

2008-04-10T14:58:00.000-07:00

Here are my first 3 tips for Mental Reprogramming, de-stressing and Healing your Mind.
If you feel like you are running faster and faster just to stay still, it is time to STOP. Stress does not feel good and it does you no good either. Emotionally and physically the costs are too high. Take charge of your wellbeing, heal your mind and make a start in a very simple

Start having a regular Heal Your Mind Time each day. Just commit to checking in with yourself for a few minutes each day, to give yourself the kind of attention you would give to a troubled child who needs soothing.

During this time, ask yourself “How are You? What is going on? How stressed do you feel? Rate yourself on a scale of 1 - 10 where 10 is maximum stress.
Where you want to be is to have a bit of stress- none at all could be boring, but over 7 means you need to be active in stressproofing your life.

Go through a mental reprogramming exercise. You can just lie quietly, making sure part of your body is relaxing. A great way to do this is to say to each part of your body that you like and appreciate it. Then actively imagine bathing your toes in approval. And so through your whole body. This will appeal to the child in you, and if you end up chuckling so much the better. If it is difficult, I suggest you try a programme from this site.

Heal Your Mind Time

2008-04-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

A time and space to take stock, stop the mad rush, and think about coping brilliantly instead of just getting by!
A chance for de-stressing, planning and a breathing space. With everything changing so fast around us no wonder we start to feel deskilled and out of sorts.
So take a deep breath, relax, and let the knots in your mind and body unravel. Focus on something positive, maybe just really enjoying a square of excellent chocolate. A little gentle mental reprogramming at the beginning and end of the day can work magic. Remember to say thank you to someone at least once today.